Feeling anxious can be a debilitating experience. At its most extreme, it can feel like a panic attack, which, if you haven’t experienced it, literally feels like you’re about to die—imagine the panic of drowning. Even when anxiety isn’t at its peak, it still feels like something bad is about to happen, and that feeling can seem very real. It triggers the body’s fear response: your heart rate and adrenaline spike, just as if you were in real danger.
It’s hard to imagine that anxiety is actually meant to be useful, especially when your experiences with it usually leave you feeling overwhelmed. However, anxiety, like all emotions, is meant to be a helpful experience. Though unpleasant, it helps us prepare for future challenges. While there are many reasons why people experience anxiety differently, a common cause of overwhelming anxiety is the relationship we’ve developed with it. This is often rooted in childhood or more recent past experiences. In short, we’ve learned to avoid anxiety because nothing good seems to happen when we start to feel this way.
Treating Anxiety
The big picture in treating anxiety involves both learning to trust ourselves as capable individuals and changing our relationship with the experience of anxiety. Instead of seeing anxiety as a signal that we are about to lose control and become overwhelmed, we want to start viewing it as an early warning system—a call to action. Anxiety’s presence is a signal that we can act, that we are capable of handling what’s ahead. Of course, this shift is easier said than done, and it takes more than just being told that anxiety is helpful to actually change our relationship with it.
The Breakdown:
Treatment involves changing our relationship with anxiety. Instead of letting it send us into a tailspin of panic, we learn to calm it down, much like soothing a frantic teammate. This shift in our response to anxiety involves several strategies:
- Regulate the Body: The first step is learning to regulate our bodies through relaxation techniques. This is necessary because we can’t think clearly when our bodies are hyped up on anxiety—well, technically adrenaline, but you get the point.
- Reframe Anxious Thoughts: Next, we explore our anxious thoughts by framing them in terms of challenges vs. resources, and consequences vs. resources. Challenges are hard things we need to do, while consequence are bad things that will happen if we don’t do those challenges. At first, challenges can seem really large, like studying for an important exam. However, if we take the time to compare them to our resources, like the time we have to study, the notes we’ve already taken, and the help we can get from our study buddies, then those challenges don’t seem as large. The same goes for the consequences. Our first thoughts might be that they are catastrophic, but when we define them we might realise that 6 weeks of summer school (a resource) might not be so bad.
- Test and Observe: Finally, we test what it’s like to put ourselves in anxiety-provoking situations and observe how capable we are of handling challenges when we adequately prepare. This experience helps us gain confidence in our own abilities and teaches us that the feeling of anxiety is not always an accurate predictor that things will go wrong.
Changing our relationship with anxiety is not a simple process, but these three steps are a great start. By following them, we reduce the intensity of anxiety, develop a more helpful framework for dealing with it, and create opportunities to willingly tolerate distress. Ultimately, this process helps prove to ourselves that we have more control than we might feel at times.
How Does a Therapist Help With Anxiety
Working with a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Beyond teaching skills and theories for managing anxiety, therapists offer a safe space to explore your unique story. Their understanding and belief in you can boost your confidence to try new strategies discussed in sessions. Additionally, therapists provide expertise and guidance, offering support or gentle challenges as needed. Most importantly, they create a confidential environment where you can unpack both your successes and struggles, especially those driven by self-critical thoughts that may be difficult to share elsewhere.