Reflection is a key part of therapy in which we review your experiences and try to make sense of them. Part of making sense of your experiences is exploring what, how, and why things happened; making sure that all pieces of the puzzle actually fit together instead of being crammed together where they don’t belong. Here are 5 terms we use in therapy to reflect on our past.
Helpful
The term helpful is basically a measure of how useful a thought or behaviour is to achieving our goal, in other words, does the thought get us closer or further away from our goal? An example of an unhelpful thought would be assuming that “no matter what we do, we will fail”. A thought like that is unhelpful because it discourages us from even trying, practically pushing us away from our goal. A more helpful thought would be acknowledging that something is difficult and identifying why it is difficult. At least that way we can then consider some possible solutions.
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions, or more plainly “thought shortcuts”, are the gaps in our thinking that naturally occur as our brains attempt to save energy. Thought shortcuts allow us to make quick decisions by either grouping similar things together and/or noticing patterns, rather than going through every detail individually. However, the trade-off for speed and ease is accuracy. For example, I can call a vehicle with 4 wheels, 4 doors, and an engine in the front a car and that wouldn’t be wrong. But it wouldn’t be specific either. There are a lot of cars with those features and it could be anything from a sedan, Ute, 4wd, SUV, or a hatchback. To know what kind of car I’m referring to, I’d need to be more specific. Our thought shortcuts are like that sometimes; we can recognize that a situation is difficult or unpleasant without specifically defining why it is. When we are not specific about why something is difficult, it can leave us feeling overwhelmed because a solution is hard to imagine without a specific and well-defined problem. Thought shortcuts trade context for quick conclusions but when that context is actually relevant, then those conclusions can be misleading.
Metric
While metric isn’t really a “psych” term, it is a really helpful concept to keep in mind as it reminds us to keep the appropriate context in mind, see cognitive distortions. When we make a judgment on something, it’s important to ask ourselves what metric/measure are we using to come to this conclusion. A quick example would be if you judged a penguin on its ability to climb a tree it would seem pretty inadequate. Sometimes we can rely too much on one metric, where the full story would actually require multiple metrics. For example, if your metric is results only, then the loser of the grand championship game would be bad sportsmen. While that example seems absurd because making it to the championship game in itself is a feat of excellence, it is not uncommon for people to focus on one characteristic or behaviour to judge themselves, while ignoring other relevant contexts.
Chain Analysis
It is tempting to focus on the climax of a problem, for example, the stutter on stage while public speaking, the eruption of anger in an argument, or the panic attack that seems to come out of nowhere. However, problems don’t just materialize out of nowhere, and understanding where they came from is the most helpful thing that can be done. Again, context is the key here, and we are attempting to understand the context before trying to solve the problem. In this case, instead of defining the origin of the problem as “out of nowhere,” a place that we can’t do anything about, we’re searching for an actual start to the problem, hopefully something changeable. (Letting ourselves think that the problem came out of nowhere is another cognitive shortcut.) “Chain analysis” implies that there is a sequence of events that results in the issue we are trying to solve. When we go back through the sequence, step by step, we find a step that we could do differently. For example, we might be better able to control our anger by recognizing the thoughts that build up our frustration and addressing those rather than trying to control the outburst when it happens.
Safety Behaviours
There are things in our lives that we are afraid might happen, and rightly so, we avoid the situations in which they might happen. Most of us, for example, are afraid of being hit by a car and so avoid things like playing in the streets and instead walk on the sidewalks. Most of us haven’t been hit by a car, but it is a helpful assumption that being hit by a car would be a life-threatening and painful experience. By avoiding being hit by a car, we also maintain that belief; this, in essence, is a safety behaviour. In this case, the safety behaviour actually keeps you safe. This is similar to how cognitive distortions are usually helpful, or we would have stopped using them a long time ago. However, because safety behaviours are based on assumptions, like cognitive distortions, they can get it wrong sometimes and instead keep us trapped in an unhelpful loop, just like cognitive distortions.
Some fears are less helpful as they can be limiting in significant ways. Social anxiety is a space where many safety behaviours can be found. Generally speaking, the belief in social anxiety is that a person will, in one way or another, experience social discomfort and/or social rejection. While there are likely relevant experiences for those assumptions, avoiding social situations stops the person from having the opportunity to have a positive social experience, which could change their belief that they will be socially rejected. With no opportunity to change that belief, the belief is maintained, and the person continues to avoid social situations. Safety behaviours can be subtle; you might not avoid the social event entirely, but you might go and spend the whole time on your phone. Being on your phone can make you feel safe as you appear busy instead of alone, but it also is a cue to others to leave you alone, which would make it hard to have a positive social experience.
Reflecting on Your Own!
The use of these terms helps frame our thoughts in, you guessed it, the most helpful way and while that doesn’t eliminate all our problems, it does help us break out of unhelpful patterns. Keeping these concepts in mind when you do your own reflections can help you challenge your own thoughts the same way a therapist might in session.
